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- dows shuttered by shabby curtains. Leif and Karen and I drifted into our own lives. I pressed my face sideways, hard, against the glass, and Id catch a slice of it going on forever into the horizon. I decided to leave the hospital for one night so I could find him and bring him to the hospital once and for all. Duluth was a freezing hick town where doctors who didnt know what the hell they were talking about told forty-five-year-old vegetarian-ish, garlic- eating, natural-remedy-using nonsmokers that they had late-stage lung cancer, thats what. It isnt that, he said.

I stayed in school, though I convinced my professors to allow me to be in class only two days each week. The winter after my mother married him, Eddie fell off a roof on the job and broke his back. I knew how she met my father the next year and what he seemed like to her on their first few dates. Back in mid-January, the idea of living in New York City had seemed like the most exciting thing in the world. Not just the parts of her that I knew, but the parts of her that had come before me too. My mother begged and whimpered then. I would want things to be different than they were. The tests at the Mayo Clinic would prove that, refut- ing what the doctors in Duluth had said.